Friday, April 17, 2009

Why I Write

I was reading Miss Snark's blog on agents -- I highly suggest it, even though she's retiring it, it's got great "snarkives." And one of the posters in the comments posted this bit from Dylan Thomas. I like his stuff, but this one just struck me. Writers should heed this when we write and write for us and because we can not do anything but write. I don't write to publish otherwise I would have finished more stuff and actually query my work. I write because I have to get the voices out. I have to give them breath and life and growth. I write because I have to.

In my craft or sullen art
Exercised in the still night
When only the moon rages
And the lovers lie abed
With all their griefs in their arms,
I labor by singing light
Not for ambition or bread
Or the strut and trade of charms
On the ivory stages
But for the common wages
Of their most secret heart.

Not for the proud man apart
From the raging moon I write
On these spindrift pages
Nor for the towering dead
With their nightingales and psalms
But for the lovers, their arms
Round the griefs of the ages,
Who pay no praise or wages
Nor heed my craft or art. --Dylan Thomas

Why do you write?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

On Second Thought

I was looking at my older posts, and I just realized I've had a blog for 5 years now. Not that I was ever very faithful about writing in it, but that's a long time. Maybe now that I'm trying to be more serious about writing and wanting to get my PhD I'll be more consistent about logging on. It's funny: Last year at this time, I was going nowhere and it didn't really bother me. After my stint in the hospital, it seems like everything is clearer and more focused -- even though what I have isn't life-threatening. I guess any kind of tragedy can put your life in better perspective. I went to college for English because I wanted to write, and now I've been out of college for 3 years now and I'm no closer now than I was then. Sure, I'm a better writer now, but what good is that if I don't write? I've been told I'm good at it -- so what's the problem? Why, if I have all these characters and ideas inside me, haven't I finished a story since Running Away? And that was a short story -- I have all these ideas for novel and great characters and I write dozens and dozens of scenes, but I can't cohere them into a novel length production and in the end all I'm left with is scenes. I've started reading Plot by Ansen Dibell. It's supposed to help with problems like mine and I've bought 5 more books on writing, including one on romances and one on overcoming writer's block. Maybe they'll help. I think I could write more if I had some type of encouragement as well. . . but I don't have that here. I thought about joining a writing group, since there's one for Romance authors here in Shreveport, but it's rather expensive, and I was told I'd be the youngest there. Maybe I should find another online community. Aaron was going to get me a subscription to Paula Deen's magazine for Easter -- Maybe I'll get a writing magazine, even though there are only 4 good ones and out of 10, the highest only got like a 5.8 on this review site I was reading. Maybe once Prelims are over Aaron will consent to reading part of my novel. Until then, he's got to study -- or he's supposed to be. I think a little feedback is all I need. Maybe I'll post on Mediaminer or AFF and see if I get any hits. *shrugs*

Research on Senator

With blogger introducing mobile blogging and email blogging, maybe I’ll get the chance to update this page a little more often . . . then again, maybe not. It’s not that I don’t really have time to write, which is the case sometimes, but rather that I don’t have much to write here. I’ve been trying to work on my characterization for Senator, but I’m unsure on Antoinette’s looks. I’m pretty sure I want auburn hair and green eyes, but as far as length or style, I thought about longer hair so that I could have her in a ponytail cleaning the villa or in a short choppy Victoria Beckham look so that it’s not the classic Southern debutante that her mom is pushing for. M is helping me think about it, but she’s rather partial to long hair from years of having to have short hair from her mom. I’ve had both, and although I want to grow it out for my wedding, I’m okay with the short styles as well. It really depends on the facial structures of the person I think. I think I’ll have to do some more research on pictures and write some more to see what it feels natural for her to be doing. Chase on the other hand will be a bit easier since he has to be the height of fashion. It’s a little different having a female character that doesn’t care about fashion and a male that responds more to the society. Most of the novels I read – especially the Regencies – have men that have hair that’s a little longer than fashionable and does exactly what they want because they are high enough in society to ignore most of the rules. It will be a little different doing a more modern piece as well, where society shapes a lot, but is not as strict on what happens before or after marriage. I won’t have to pay as much attention to the ton since it isn’t England and they won’t be in a normal society too much since I want to base most of the story in Greece – I’m leaning a lot toward Kythria. I started with San Padre, but I think that’s a little too populated and touristy for her “confinement.” I haven’t decided yet if I want her to have the baby in Greece or not. She’s only 4, maybe 5 months when the story opens, so I have a few months to play with.

On another note, I've been looking for a good primer for my eyeshadow -- blame it on too many vlogs and youtube subscriptions on makeup (I especially love panacea81) since I have that huge manly 120 eyeshadow palette, I've been wanting it to come out right. I found one at Target, but it was awful-expensive, so back on the shelf it went. I tried vaseline -- Lauren promotes that if you can't get a good primer -- and I would love to have hers, but I did find these neat little cream shadows from Victoria's Secret (yes, I am biased since I used to work there). They're part of the Beauty Rush collection and although they're a little shiny, they work great as a primer for pigment powder shadows. I got three (Bronze Medal - kinda a bronzish brown, What a Blush - a light pink color, and Glampagne - a neutral cream) and I love them. Smooth, and they stay put! I was already addicted to the lipglosses (still use my Cupquake, Buttersgotcha, and Gimme Smore) but it looks like they have a lot of new flavors out. The mascara in that line seems really good too (I picked up a navy one and a purple one). More after I've played more with that or checked out the new makeup from VerySexy.

I don’t know if anyone is reading this blog, but if you are, leave me a message and let me know what you think.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Still moving

I've updated the Teases Blog for anyone interested in reading it. Just a partial song. Life is moving onward. Mom and Adam are coming in this weekend for a bowling tournament and I went home last weekend for Easter. Did a little bit of shopping and saw family that I really haven't seen in about 2 years. I have to work to clean up my apartment this week so it will be presentable for Mom to come, since I don't want litter and junk all over my rooms. It's pretty easy to clean up everything, just time consuming. And I have to go shopping so that I will have food for lunch this week and food for her this weekend, although on Saturday night we'll be going eat at Chef Lee's, so no chinese food during the week. . .We'll probably eat at the bowling alley on Saturday for lunch, but I don't know how long it will take for him to bowl his games. I think it's the state tournament, but Adam doesn't listen to anything, so I don't have any details. I'm not even sure it's at Holiday Lanes, I just know it's in Bossier and their website says they are completely booked for that day. I guess I better get back to working on my story. I started reading a new book on writing last night called Plot: How to build short stories and novels that don't sag, fizzle or trail off in revision -- and how to rescue stories that do. It seems pretty good so far and I hope it can keep me on track and maybe I'll finish Senator. I have an idea of what I want to happen and I have the two main characters although I don't know them as well as I should yet. I'll probably do some more work on them in the next couple of days. I have a villain I think, besides "society" but I don't have a personality or description, or hell, even a name for her yet. She's just the fiance so far. So, this blog is getting long enough and it's not helping me write Senator or Cowboy's Song, which I want to get a OneNote book started for as well, so that's all for now.

Comments will be wined and dined until complacent.