Thursday, April 16, 2009

On Second Thought

I was looking at my older posts, and I just realized I've had a blog for 5 years now. Not that I was ever very faithful about writing in it, but that's a long time. Maybe now that I'm trying to be more serious about writing and wanting to get my PhD I'll be more consistent about logging on. It's funny: Last year at this time, I was going nowhere and it didn't really bother me. After my stint in the hospital, it seems like everything is clearer and more focused -- even though what I have isn't life-threatening. I guess any kind of tragedy can put your life in better perspective. I went to college for English because I wanted to write, and now I've been out of college for 3 years now and I'm no closer now than I was then. Sure, I'm a better writer now, but what good is that if I don't write? I've been told I'm good at it -- so what's the problem? Why, if I have all these characters and ideas inside me, haven't I finished a story since Running Away? And that was a short story -- I have all these ideas for novel and great characters and I write dozens and dozens of scenes, but I can't cohere them into a novel length production and in the end all I'm left with is scenes. I've started reading Plot by Ansen Dibell. It's supposed to help with problems like mine and I've bought 5 more books on writing, including one on romances and one on overcoming writer's block. Maybe they'll help. I think I could write more if I had some type of encouragement as well. . . but I don't have that here. I thought about joining a writing group, since there's one for Romance authors here in Shreveport, but it's rather expensive, and I was told I'd be the youngest there. Maybe I should find another online community. Aaron was going to get me a subscription to Paula Deen's magazine for Easter -- Maybe I'll get a writing magazine, even though there are only 4 good ones and out of 10, the highest only got like a 5.8 on this review site I was reading. Maybe once Prelims are over Aaron will consent to reading part of my novel. Until then, he's got to study -- or he's supposed to be. I think a little feedback is all I need. Maybe I'll post on Mediaminer or AFF and see if I get any hits. *shrugs*

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